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    Jokes of shadow

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    shadowkuta
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    Star Topic Jokes of shadow

    Post by shadowkuta on Thu May 13, 2010 3:31 am

    I went looking for some camo pants the other day, but I couldn't find any!




    Qantas Airlines: Repair Division

    Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

    After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
    The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

    By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


    P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.

    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    And the best one for last..................
    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.

    xD
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    sop281
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    Star Topic Re: Jokes of shadow

    Post by sop281 on Mon Oct 11, 2010 2:32 pm

    Lol nice one excited


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    Star Topic Re: Jokes of shadow

    Post by James1011R on Mon Oct 11, 2010 8:13 pm

    Epic Win! Very Happy


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    sop281
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    Star Topic Re: Jokes of shadow

    Post by sop281 on Mon Oct 11, 2010 8:38 pm

    Indeed it is. select


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    Star Topic Epic!

    Post by James1011R on Sat Oct 16, 2010 3:04 pm

    I LOL'ed hard enough to make this a Like a Star @ heaven Star Topic.


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    shadowkuta
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    Star Topic W00T!

    Post by shadowkuta on Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:20 pm

    STAR TOPIC Surprised

    Will update very soon nao im back

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    Star Topic Re: Jokes of shadow

    Post by sop281 on Sat Oct 30, 2010 12:16 am

    This deserves one of these: excited


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    shadowkuta
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    Star Topic Re: Jokes of shadow

    Post by shadowkuta on Sat Jul 02, 2011 9:42 pm

    I haven't forumed here in ages :O
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    sop281
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    Star Topic Re: Jokes of shadow

    Post by sop281 on Sat Jul 02, 2011 9:50 pm

    shadowkuta wrote:I haven't forumed here in ages :O

    Yeah, most people haven't.


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    Star Topic Re: Jokes of shadow

    Post by James1011R on Sun Jul 03, 2011 1:09 am

    This forum needs an upgrade.


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    Star Topic Re: Jokes of shadow

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